Satire

ghalib duniya mein waahid shaa'ir hai jo samajh mein na aaye to dugna maza deta hai.

musalmaan hamesha eik amali qaum rahe hain. wo kisi aise jaanwar ko muhabbat se nahi paalte jise zibha kar ke kha na sakein.

insaan woh waahid haiwaan hai jo apna zahar dil mein rakhta hai.

ghode aur aurat ki zaat ka andaaza uski laat aur baat se kiya jaata hai.

private aspataal aur clinic mein marne ka sabse bada faaeda ye hai ki marhoom ki jaaedaad, jama-jat'tha aur bank-balance ke bantwaare par pasmandagaan mein khoon-kharaaba nahi hota, kyunki sab doctors ke hisse mein aa jaate hain.

mard ki pasand wo pul-siraat hai jis par koi moti aurat nahi chal sakti.

hamaari gaayiki ki buniyaad table par hai, guftugoo ki buniyaad gaali par.

aurat ki edi hataao to uske neeche se kisi na kisi mard ki naak zaroor niklegi.

shareef gharaanon mein aai hui dulhan aur jaanwar to mar kar hi nikalte hain.

is zamaane mein sau fee-sad sach bol kar zindagi karna aisa hi hai jaise bajri milaaye baghair sirf cement se makaan banaana.

middle class gareebi ki sabse qaabil-e-rahm aur laa-ilaaj qism wo hai jismein aadmi ke paas kuch na ho lekin use kisi cheez ki kami mahsoos na ho.

musalmaan ladke hisaab mein fail hone ko apne musalmaan hone ki aasmaani daleel samajhte hain.

azaad shaa'iri ki misaal aisi hai jaise baghair net tennis khelna.

hamaara aqeeda hai ki jise maazi yaad nahi rahta uski zindagi mein shaayad kabhi kuch hua hi nahi, lekin jo apne maazi ko yaad hi nahi karna chaahta wo yaqeenan loafer raha hoga.

be-sabab dushmani aur badsoorat aurat se ishq haqeeqat mein dushmani aur ishq ki sabse na-khaalis qism hai. ye shuru hi wahaan se hui hai jahaan ‘aql khatm ho jaave hai.

sher, hawaai jahaaz, goli, truck aur pathan reverse gear mein chal hi nahi sakte.

pahaad aur adher 'aurat dar-asl oil painting ki tarah hote hain, unhein zara faasle se dekhna chaahiye.

bandar mein humein iske 'alaawa aur koi 'aib nazar nahi aata ki woh insaan ka jadd-e-aala hai.

jab aadmi ko yeh na maa'loom ho ki uski naal kahaan gadi hai aur purkhon ki haddiyan kahaan dafn hain to money plant ki tarah ho jaata hai. jo mitti ke baghair sirf botalon mein phalta-phoolta hai.

taa'n-o-tashnee'a se agar doosron ki islaah ho jaati to barood ijaad karne ki zaroorat pesh na aati.

badshaahon aur mutlaq-ul-anaan hukmaraanon ki mustaqil aur dil-pasand sawaari dar-haqeeqat ri'aayaa hoti hai.

umr-e-tabee‘ee tak to sirf kavve, kachhuve, gadhe aur woh jaanwar pahunchte hain jinka khaana shar‘an haraam hai.

aap raashi, zaani aur sharaabi ko hamesha khush-akhlaaq, milansaar aur meetha paayenge. is waaste ki woh nakhwat, sakht-giri aur bad-mizaaji afford hi nahi kar sakte.

maine kabhi pukhta-kaar maulvi ya mizaah-nigaar ko mahaz taqreer-o-tahreer ki paadaash mein jail jaate nahi dekha.