ho gae nakaam to pachhtaen kya
ho gae nakam to pachhtaen kya
doston ke samne sharmaen kya
ho rahe hain fail ham do saal se
ghar men ja kar apna munh dikhlaen kya
jab kisi surat nahin is se mafar
imtihan ke naam se ghabraen kya
yaad kar len aaj thoda sa sabaq
master sahab ke dande khaen kya
jab guru ji khud nahin samjhe saval
apne shagirdon ko vo samjhaen kya
padh nahin sakte to shaitani karen
aa gae schol men to jaaen kya
aao ham aapas men kuchh jhagda karen
khel se ab apna dil bahlaen kya
puchhte hain master ham kaun hain
koi batlao ki ham batlaen kya
jab kahin zauq-e-sukhan-fahmi nahin
'kaif' sahab ki ghhazal ham gaaen kya
ho gae nakaam to pachhtaen kya
doston ke samne sharmaen kya
ho rahe hain fail hum do sal se
ghar mein ja kar apna munh dikhlaen kya
jab kisi surat nahin is se mafar
imtihan ke nam se ghabraen kya
yaad kar len aaj thoda sa sabaq
master sahab ke dande khaen kya
jab guru ji khud nahin samjhe sawal
apne shagirdon ko wo samjhaen kya
padh nahin sakte to shaitani karen
aa gae school mein to jaen kya
aao hum aapas mein kuchh jhagda karen
khel se ab apna dil bahlaen kya
puchhte hain master hum kaun hain
koi batlao ki hum batlaen kya
jab kahin zauq-e-sukhan-fahmi nahin
'kaif' sahab ki ghazal hum gaen kya
mujhe naql par bhi itna agar ikhtiyar hota
mujhe naql par bhi itna agar ikhtiyar hota
kabhi fail imtihan men na main baar baar hota
jo main fail ho gaya to sabhi de rahe hain taane
koi dil-navaz hota koi ghham-gusar hota
mujhe aaj itni nafrat se na dekhti ye duniya
jo padhai se zara bhi mire dil ko pyaar hota
mire master na hote jo ulum-o-fan men daana
kabhi maula-bakhsh-sahab ka na main shikar hota
vo padhate vaqt darje men hazar baar barse
jo mujhe bhi chhik aati unhen nagavar hota
na main tandurust hota na kabhi schol jaata
kabhi sar men dard rahta to kabhi bukhar hota
kabhi madrase men aata koi aisa chaat vaala
ki jo muft men khilata na kabhi udhar hota
ye gadha jo apni ghhaflat se hai bevaquf itna
jo ye khud ko jaan jaata bada hoshiyar hota
tire ghar men 'kaif' tera koi qadr-dan nahin hai
jo vatan se duur hota to bada vaqar hota
mujhe naql par bhi itna agar ikhtiyar hota
kabhi fail imtihan mein na main bar bar hota
jo main fail ho gaya to sabhi de rahe hain tane
koi dil-nawaz hota koi gham-gusar hota
mujhe aaj itni nafrat se na dekhti ye duniya
jo padhai se zara bhi mere dil ko pyar hota
mere master na hote jo ulum-o-fan mein dana
kabhi maula-bakhsh-sahab ka na main shikar hota
wo padhate waqt darje mein hazar bar barse
jo mujhe bhi chhik aati unhen nagawar hota
na main tandurust hota na kabhi school jata
kabhi sar mein dard rahta to kabhi bukhar hota
kabhi madrase mein aata koi aisa chat wala
ki jo muft mein khilata na kabhi udhaar hota
ye gadha jo apni ghaflat se hai bewaquf itna
jo ye khud ko jaan jata bada hoshiyar hota
tere ghar mein 'kaif' tera koi qadr-dan nahin hai
jo watan se dur hota to bada waqar hota
roz murgha bana kare koi
roz murghha bana kare koi
kab tak akhir pita kare koi
jab kahin naukri nahin milti
degreyan le ke kya kare koi
mujh ko reading se sakht nafrat hai
main sunun aur padha kare koi
jis men aati ho bu ta'assub ki
aisi tarikh kya kare koi
jin men jang-o-jadal ke qisse hon
vo kutub kyon padha kare koi
ghhair-mulki zaban english ko
khva-makhvah kyon rata kare koi
nahin ummid-e-kamyabi jab
imtihan de ke kya kare koi
khuub insaf hai ki darje men
main pitun aur khata kare koi
kab tak akhir baghhair samjhe hue
formule rata kare koi
'kaif' aata nahin javab-e-khuda
khat kahan tak likha kare koi
roz murgha bana kare koi
kab tak aakhir pita kare koi
jab kahin naukri nahin milti
degreeyan le ke kya kare koi
mujh ko reading se sakht nafrat hai
main sunun aur padha kare koi
jis mein aati ho bu ta'assub ki
aisi tarikh kya kare koi
jin mein jang-o-jadal ke qisse hon
wo kutub kyon padha kare koi
ghair-mulki zaban english ko
khwa-makhwah kyon rata kare koi
nahin ummid-e-kaamyabi jab
imtihan de ke kya kare koi
khub insaf hai ki darje mein
main pitun aur khata kare koi
kab tak aakhir baghair samjhe hue
formule rata kare koi
'kaif' aata nahin jawab-e-khuda
khat kahan tak likha kare koi
ek pari ki zulfon mein yun phansa hua hai chand
ek pari ki zulfon men yuun phansa hua hai chand
ham ko lagta hai badal men chhupa hua hai chand
pahli shaam nazar aaya tha bilkul aisa jaise nakhun
chaudah din men dekho kitna bada hua hai chand
us ne ped se kuud ke jaane kitne ghhote khaae
bandar ko jab laga nadi men gira hua hai chand
thoda sa niche aae to us ko ham bhi chhu len
batti jaisa ye jo uupar jala hua hai chand
sach kya hai ye chand pe ja kar kaash ik din main dekhun
sab batlate hain patthar ka bana hua hai chand
ek pari ki zulfon mein yun phansa hua hai chand
hum ko lagta hai baadal mein chhupa hua hai chand
pahli sham nazar aaya tha bilkul aisa jaise nakhun
chaudah din mein dekho kitna bada hua hai chand
us ne ped se kud ke jaane kitne ghote khae
bandar ko jab laga nadi mein gira hua hai chand
thoda sa niche aae to us ko hum bhi chhu len
batti jaisa ye jo upar jala hua hai chand
sach kya hai ye chand pe ja kar kash ek din main dekhun
sab batlate hain patthar ka bana hua hai chand
koi ummid bar nahin aati
koi ummid bar nahin aati
koi chhutti nazar nahin aati
halva milna hai par nahin milta
chaae aani hai par nahin aati
jo padosi ke ghar men aai hai
vo mithai idhar nahin aati
duudh ghi gar nazar nahin aata
bu bhi us ki magar nahin aati
imtihan kya qarib hai yaaro
niind kyon raat bhar nahin aati
teacheron se najat paane ki
koi surat nazar nahin aati
ham ko murghha bana ke kursi par
sharm ai master nahin aati
roz padhna bhi ik musibat hai
chhuttiyon ki khabar nahin aati
saare teacher hon khush sada ham se
is ki surat nazar nahin aati
bas riyazi ko dekh kar chup huun
varna kya baat kar nahin aati
khuub sote maze se ham lekin
koi shab be-sahar nahin aati
koi ummid bar nahin aati
koi chhutti nazar nahin aati
halwa milna hai par nahin milta
chae aani hai par nahin aati
jo padosi ke ghar mein aai hai
wo mithai idhar nahin aati
dudh ghi gar nazar nahin aata
bu bhi us ki magar nahin aati
imtihan kya qarib hai yaro
nind kyon raat bhar nahin aati
teacheron se najat pane ki
koi surat nazar nahin aati
hum ko murgha bana ke kursi par
sharm ai master nahin aati
roz padhna bhi ek musibat hai
chhuttiyon ki khabar nahin aati
sare teacher hon khush sada hum se
is ki surat nazar nahin aati
bas riyazi ko dekh kar chup hun
warna kya baat kar nahin aati
khub sote maze se hum lekin
koi shab be-sahar nahin aati
nam likha liya to phir karte ho hae hae kyon
naam likha liya to phir karte ho haae haae kyon
padhna na tha tumhen agar darje men padhne aae kyon
kyunkar ham imtihan den soenge ja ke baaghh men
padhne ko aadhi raat tak koi hamen jagae kyon
baithe hain apni seat par kaise bhagaen master
aae hain de ke fees ham koi hamen bhagae kyon
chikhenge khuub ham yahan chahe khafa hon mehman
nafrat ho jis ko shor se ghar men hamare aae kyon
koi padosi tang ho chahe kisi se jang ho
ghar hai ye apne baap ka koi hamen chupae kyon
kaana khuda ne kar diya is men hai apni kya khata
gaali bakenge khuub ham koi hamen chidae kyon
dekho to pet ban gaya akhir ghhubara gas ka
khate ho itna gosht kyon piite ho itni chaae kyon
sathi hon ya asatiza aae kisi ko kya maza
darje men koi be-mahal 'kaif' ki ghhazlen gaae kyon
nam likha liya to phir karte ho hae hae kyon
padhna na tha tumhein agar darje mein padhne aae kyon
kyunkar hum imtihan den soenge ja ke bagh mein
padhne ko aadhi raat tak koi hamein jagae kyon
baithe hain apni seat par kaise bhagaen master
aae hain de ke fees hum koi hamein bhagae kyon
chikhenge khub hum yahan chahe khafa hon mehman
nafrat ho jis ko shor se ghar mein hamare aae kyon
koi padosi tang ho chahe kisi se jang ho
ghar hai ye apne bap ka koi hamein chupae kyon
kana khuda ne kar diya is mein hai apni kya khata
gali bakenge khub hum koi hamein chidae kyon
dekho to pet ban gaya aakhir ghubara gas ka
khate ho itna gosht kyon pite ho itni chae kyon
sathi hon ya asatiza aae kisi ko kya maza
darje mein koi be-mahal 'kaif' ki ghazlen gae kyon
khatm chhutti madrase ka dar khula
khatm chhutti madrase ka dar khula
aql-o-danish ilm-o-fan ka ghar khula
phir vahi schol ki sar-garmiyan
phir vahi taalim ka daftar khula
meri taalimi liyaqat ka bharam
imtihan ke baad hi aksar khula
master sahab ke ghhusse ka sabab
be-khata maasum bachchon par khula
meri ankhen niind se bojhal huiin
jab nazar aaya koi bistar khula
chand taron ko hansi aane lagi
mera basta jab khuli chhat par khula
ji men aata hai lagaun ik chapat
dekhta huun jab kisi ka sar khula
'kaif' meri naak men dam aa gaya
jab kabhi mujh se koi teacher khula
khatm chhutti madrase ka dar khula
aql-o-danish ilm-o-fan ka ghar khula
phir wahi school ki sar-garmiyan
phir wahi talim ka daftar khula
meri talimi liyaqat ka bharam
imtihan ke baad hi aksar khula
master sahab ke ghusse ka sabab
be-khata masum bachchon par khula
meri aankhen nind se bojhal huin
jab nazar aaya koi bistar khula
chand taron ko hansi aane lagi
mera basta jab khuli chhat par khula
ji mein aata hai lagaun ek chapat
dekhta hun jab kisi ka sar khula
'kaif' meri nak mein dam aa gaya
jab kabhi mujh se koi teacher khula
mujhko talim se nafrat hi sahi
mujh ko taalim se nafrat hi sahi
aur khelon se mohabbat hi sahi
main ne is se to bade kaam liye
aap ko khel se vahshat hi sahi
imtihan se main nahin ghabrata
fail hona miri qismat hi sahi
padhne valon ne bhi kya kuchh na kiya
naql karna miri aadat hi sahi
main ne to sirf guzarish ki thi
sab ki nazron men shikayat hi sahi
main kisi se na ladunga hargiz
dab ke rahna miri fitrat hi sahi
main na chhodunga sharafat ka chalan
ye sharafat miri zillat hi sahi
kabhi chumegi qadam khud manzil
aaj har gaam pe diqqat hi sahi
ye musibat bhi badi dilkash hai
zindagi ek musibat hi sahi
'kaif' ik din ye bana degi tujhe
sher-goi tiri aadat hi sahi
mujh ko talim se nafrat hi sahi
aur khelon se mohabbat hi sahi
main ne is se to bade kaam liye
aap ko khel se wahshat hi sahi
imtihan se main nahin ghabraata
fail hona meri qismat hi sahi
padhne walon ne bhi kya kuchh na kiya
naql karna meri aadat hi sahi
main ne to sirf guzarish ki thi
sab ki nazron mein shikayat hi sahi
main kisi se na ladunga hargiz
dab ke rahna meri fitrat hi sahi
main na chhodunga sharafat ka chalan
ye sharafat meri zillat hi sahi
kabhi chumegi qadam khud manzil
aaj har gam pe diqqat hi sahi
ye musibat bhi badi dilkash hai
zindagi ek musibat hi sahi
'kaif' ek din ye bana degi tujhe
sher-goi teri aadat hi sahi
ghar aangan mein phaili dhup
ghar angan men phaili dhuup
piile rang men lipti dhuup
roz kitaben chumti hai
subh ki ujli ujli dhuup
ham jab bhi schol gae
ham se pahle vahan thi dhuup
ham na rukenge manzil tak
kaisi barish kaisi dhuup
dharti sona lagti hai
chamkae yuun mitti dhuup
dhunda tha ham ne to qalam
baste men se nikli dhuup
kirnon ki chhatri thame
'hafiz' chhat par utri dhuup
ghar aangan mein phaili dhup
pile rang mein lipti dhup
roz kitaben chumti hai
subh ki ujli ujli dhup
hum jab bhi school gae
hum se pahle wahan thi dhup
hum na rukenge manzil tak
kaisi barish kaisi dhup
dharti sona lagti hai
chamkae yun mitti dhup
dhunda tha hum ne to qalam
baste mein se nikli dhup
kirnon ki chhatri thame
'hafiz' chhat par utri dhup
bachche lae anokhi titli aur nirale phul
bachche laae anokhi titli aur nirale phuul
khushbu dene vaali titli udne vaale phuul
jis din gulshan men nafrat ki andhi chalti hai
shakhon par ugne lagte hain kaale kaale phuul
us ke pairon men kante the chhale hathon men
uupar se pariyon ne us bachche par daale phuul
hamra aur samra ne salgirah par aiman ki
khuub chhudai atish-bazi khuub uchhale phuul
meri god men poti hai to pota kandhe par
jaise jhilmil jhilmil jugnu bhole-bhale phuul
lafzon ke is jadugar ke pyare pyare sher
angare daman men rakkhe aur nikale phuul
bachche lae anokhi titli aur nirale phul
khushbu dene wali titli udne wale phul
jis din gulshan mein nafrat ki aandhi chalti hai
shakhon par ugne lagte hain kale kale phul
us ke pairon mein kante the chhaale hathon mein
upar se pariyon ne us bachche par dale phul
hamra aur samra ne salgirah par aiman ki
khub chhudai aatish-bazi khub uchhaale phul
meri god mein poti hai to pota kandhe par
jaise jhilmil jhilmil jugnu bhole-bhaale phul
lafzon ke is jadugar ke pyare pyare sher
angare daman mein rakkhe aur nikale phul
qissa-e-naql kuchh aisa hai batae na bane
qissa-e-naql kuchh aisa hai batae na bane
baat bigdi hai kuchh aisi ki banae na bane
imtihan haal men ham laae hain ik aisi kitab
mumtahin puchhe ye kya hai to chhupae na bane
in kitabon se hai pichha bhi chhudana mushkil
aur ye bojh bhi ab ham se uthae na bane
kya karen khel men kam-bakht kashish hai aisi
jis se dil apna hataen to hatae na bane
subh ko aankh bhi khulti nahin jaldi apni
der ho jaae to schol bhi jaae na bane
ghar se bhi cinema jaane ki ijazat na mili
aur schol se bhi bhaag ke aae na bane
'kaif' khamosh raha bhi nahin jaata mujh se
aur darje men ghhazal gaaen to gaae na bane
qissa-e-naql kuchh aisa hai batae na bane
baat bigdi hai kuchh aisi ki banae na bane
imtihan haal mein hum lae hain ek aisi kitab
mumtahin puchhe ye kya hai to chhupae na bane
in kitabon se hai pichha bhi chhudana mushkil
aur ye bojh bhi ab hum se uthae na bane
kya karen khel mein kam-bakht kashish hai aisi
jis se dil apna hataen to hatae na bane
subh ko aankh bhi khulti nahin jaldi apni
der ho jae to school bhi jae na bane
ghar se bhi cinema jaane ki ijazat na mili
aur school se bhi bhag ke aae na bane
'kaif' khamosh raha bhi nahin jata mujh se
aur darje mein ghazal gaen to gae na bane
arz jo kuchh meri zabani hai
'arz jo kuchh meri zabani hai
ap-biti nahin kahani hai
jis ne munh madrase ka dekh liya
zindagi men vo an-jahani hai
raah maktab ki bhulne ke liye
khaak ik ik gali ki chhani hai
padhne likhne men ji nahin lagta
maar khane ki ye nishani hai
khaak padhiye jo ho ghhiza aisi
bhaat kankar hai daal paani hai
jaur-e-ustad hai na mahr-e-pidar
kis qayamat ki ye girani hai
har juma god-friday hai mira
raat bhi us ki kya suhani hai
paar huun imtihan ke dariya se
naav kaghhaz ki yuun chalani hai
phir bhala ham kahan kahan masjid
ye namaz apni imtihani hai
ye ghhazal khuub hai 'jalal' miyan
kya salasat hai kya ravani hai
lakhnavi ye jalal garche nahin
kakvi ye jalal-e-sani hai
'arz jo kuchh meri zabani hai
aap-biti nahin kahani hai
jis ne munh madrase ka dekh liya
zindagi mein wo aan-jahani hai
rah maktab ki bhulne ke liye
khak ek ek gali ki chhani hai
padhne likhne mein ji nahin lagta
mar khane ki ye nishani hai
khak padhiye jo ho ghiza aisi
bhat kankar hai dal pani hai
jaur-e-ustad hai na mahr-e-pidar
kis qayamat ki ye girani hai
har juma good-friday hai mera
raat bhi us ki kya suhani hai
par hun imtihan ke dariya se
naw kaghaz ki yun chalani hai
phir bhala hum kahan kahan masjid
ye namaz apni imtihani hai
ye ghazal khub hai 'jalal' miyan
kya salasat hai kya rawani hai
lakhnawi ye jalal garche nahin
kakwi ye jalal-e-sani hai
madrase ke azab ne mara
madrase ke azaab ne maara
teacheron ke itaab ne maara
patli patli to yaad kar li thiin
ek moti kitab ne maara
imtihan ka shabab are tauba
imtihan ke shabab ne maara
khvab dekha tha paas hone ka
us mujhe jhute khvab ne maara
jitne asan saval aae the
un ke mushkil javab ne maara
jis ko daddy bhi padh ke paas na hon
itne mushkil nisab ne maara
tum ko geometryi ne maara hai
mujh ko zalim hisab ne maara
fail hone ka raaz faash kiya
haae chashm-e-pur-ab ne maara
main ne maara shahab ko ik roz
aur mujh ko shahab ne maara
madrase ke azab ne mara
teacheron ke itab ne mara
patli patli to yaad kar li thin
ek moti kitab ne mara
imtihan ka shabab are tauba
imtihan ke shabab ne mara
khwab dekha tha pas hone ka
us mujhe jhute khwab ne mara
jitne aasan sawal aae the
un ke mushkil jawab ne mara
jis ko daddy bhi padh ke pas na hon
itne mushkil nisab ne mara
tum ko geometryi ne mara hai
mujh ko zalim hisab ne mara
fail hone ka raaz fash kiya
hae chashm-e-pur-ab ne mara
main ne mara shahab ko ek roz
aur mujh ko shahab ne mara
aap ke maktab mein aa ke ro diye
aap ke maktab men aa ke ro diye
maar us dande ki kha ke ro diye
munh dikha ke rone men aai jo sharm
tauliye men munh chhupa ke ro diye
roen tanha ye nahin bhata hamen
chaar chhe ko ham rula ke ro diye
be-sabab rone ko jo chaha kabhi
pyaaz ka bharta bana ke ro diye
jis ghadi daddy ne maara chup rahe
samne ammi ke aa ke ro diye
jaise munh men rakh liya shoala koi
paan men chuna laga ke ro diye
panch ko padhne lage ab kanch vo
master ainak ganva ke ro diye
di saza choron ko allah paak ne
juute masjid men chura ke ro diye
aap ke maktab mein aa ke ro diye
mar us dande ki kha ke ro diye
munh dikha ke rone mein aai jo sharm
tauliye mein munh chhupa ke ro diye
roen tanha ye nahin bhata hamein
chaar chhe ko hum rula ke ro diye
be-sabab rone ko jo chaha kabhi
pyaz ka bharta bana ke ro diye
jis ghadi daddy ne mara chup rahe
samne ammi ke aa ke ro diye
jaise munh mein rakh liya shoala koi
pan mein chuna laga ke ro diye
panch ko padhne lage ab kanch wo
master ainak ganwa ke ro diye
di saza choron ko allah pak ne
jute masjid mein chura ke ro diye
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